The Bachelor Canada: Bachelorettes in Paris

This week we go back to the more casual dates, you know, magazine photo shoots, rappelling down mountains, and trips to Paris. We have a four-on-one date, a one-on-one, and the DREADED two-on-one date. Oh, and one girl has to sit at home all week while the rest of the girls are gallivanting across the globe. Sucks to be her I guess.

Kara, Gabrielle, Brittany, and Ana are selected for the Photo shoot date. This is actually a pretty cool idea! Kara and Brad are actually the cutest, so if he chooses someone else over her, HE DUMB. Since Whitney wasn't around for Gabrielle to tear down, she found a new prey in the form of Brittany. She went straight for the guttural, saying she wasn't very pretty without make-up. Don't listen to her Britt, you're wicked pretty. It would have been nice for Whit to take part on this date, maybe they could have done something with those eyebrows. I'm sorry, you're beautiful, but I just can't deal with those.

Although I probably would have paid actual money to see Whitney and Gabrielle to go on the two-on-one date, alas it was Bianka and Laura who were selected to go to the city of love, Paris. Don't get it confused with Philly, the city of brotherly love. Also, I have a bone to pick with whoever makes the graphics to show that they're going from one place to another. If you were flying from BC to France, you would totally take a polar route and NOT fly straight across. That's just hideously ineffective.

I like the format of the two-on-one dates better on BACHCAN than on the original. It's MUCH less awkward. I would really like to know how many baby-blue cardigans that Brad owns. I'll take the over/under at 5,347. It drove me crazy that Brad and Bianka sat on the same side of the table. NO, JUST NO. In the end, Brad chose Bianka to remain in the house, and for Laura and the worst dress I've ever seen to return back home.

Whitney was chosen for the one-on-one date. I don't really remember what happened, because she kind of bores me in all honesty. Poor Chantelle was the one that had to stay at home this week. She then got a devastating phone call that forced her to return home. We'll miss you, girl!!!

Since two girls had already received roses, and two had already gone home, there were two more roses for four girls. Thankfully, Brad picked Kara first. I would have had to smack him if he didn't. He then, for some reason, chose Gabrielle over Ana and Brittany. Bad life choice Bradley.

NEXT WEEK HOMETOWNS <3<3<3

The Bachelor Canada: It took this long to break out the Canadian stereotypes?

Okay, let’s just start this off with discussing how I should have tried out for this.

1. I like hot guys!
2. I like mansions!
3. I like good (free) food!
4. I like fun international trips!
5. I LOVE GIFT BASKETS

Like, seriously, 75% of the production budget had to have gone to the gift baskets. 

ANYWAY, the first date, the one-on-one (SHOT) went to my main homegirl Kara. The only reason I can think of why Whitney hates her is because she is jealous of the way Kara rocks that denim on denim. They went cattle wrangling, because really, what else would you want to do on a first date. Also question; is a ‘romantic barn’ an oxymoron? I’m not a country girl, so someone will have to answer this for me.

The 5-on-1 date was just a casual date to Mexico. Like any typical date. : . They went to a community center to hand out toys and stuff. This was actually a super cute date idea! It gave the other girls something to do while Brad was talking to people, instead of just awkwardly standing around in HBC blankets. Brad then had to choose one girl to stay back and have a boat excursion together, and he chose kim kardashian Bianka. She kind of bores me, so we’re moving on.

What’s a show set in Canada without some basic Canadian stereotypes? Apparently not a Canadian show because this episode we have a lumber jacking competition.  I personally would have loved to do the tree-climbing one, because who doesn’t love tree climbing? Whitney almost murdered her teammates. I’m actually betting on her legitimately murdering someone this season. The Blue team consisting of Sophie, Laura, and Chantelle won the challenge and got to go on another date which featured some kind of Canadian country singer. They danced, and spilled their souls and stuff, so, yeah.

Brad decided to shake it up hardcore this week. He decided he didn’t have the time for a cocktail party and wanted to get straight to cutting not 2, but 4 of these lovely young ladies. He says good-bye to three people that I can’t remember and another of my favorites, Sophie. Oh well.

Next week we get more Whitney hating people! More Gabrielle being insecure and unaware! and let’s be serious, PROBABLY SOME TEARS TOO!!!

The Bachelor Canada: Let the Games, I Mean Dates, Begin!

I’ve got to say, I’ve been insanely impressed with The Bachelor Canada thus far. Maybe I haven’t seen enough of the original Bachelor/Bachelorette, but the characters seem much more engaging, enthralling, and charismatic. ANYWAY, this week marks the start of the ‘Dates’ round. There was one 8 on 1 date, one 4 on 1, and one 1 on 1*. (really there was two 1 on 1’s, but who’s picky around here.)

I was SO SO SO excited when I heard they were headed to New Orleans for one of the dates. It is easily one of my favorite cities in the world. Needless to say I was a little blasphemized when none of them knew what ‘The Big Easy’ was. Shame on you girls, shame on you. I think I was seriously overcome with nostalgia during this whole date so I saw it with a rosier glow than others might. Right out of the gate we start with a tres risque burlesque lesson and performance. I give mad props to Chantelle for going so completely out of her comfort zone. I take away props to Melissa Marie for being a PlayBoy model and being the least sexy out of all the girls.

ON TO THE NEXT DATE. I kind of like all the jet-setting they are doing on these dates! This one is at a Las Vegas speedway. If I would have been on this date, there is no doubt someone would have died. Most likely me (hstrong + cars = :( ). I also find racing boring so I would be checked outta this one. Of course Whitney wins over adorable Sophie, and Gabrielle can’t seem to focus on anything except how much she despises Whitney. GUhhHhHhhHH get over it, you’re 24 not 14.

I actually started to like Whitney more when she was one on one with Brad. That went away quickly when she was around other people. The two 1 on 1 dates were fabulous! Especially the second one. I would loooove to seaplane through western BC, take note future BF. Also, the lounge singer during the first date totally wins the best outfit of the week. KUDOS TO YOU GURL. 

Alas, we come upon the rose ceremony. Again, Gabrielle cannot deal with Whitney, picks a fight with her, and then when Whitney doesn't respond and is cool as a Lay’s cool cucumber potato chip, the girl gets even more rattled. Cool your jets hombre. Four girls leave this week, one being the playboy model, the other three I can’t remember. Sorry.

This was a pretty solid episode, but my favorite part was EASILY when it showed them eating their food at dinner. My biggest pet peeve about the original version is that they leave all this delicious food untouched. Um, lord KNOWS if I was on it I would be all over that food. So, good job Bachelor Canada.

until next time!

*Take a shot every time I say ‘One on One’

The Bachelor: It's Just the Beginning

Let me start by saying that this show is everything I could have ever hoped for. Except that I apparently don’t get CityTV in my cable package and the CityTV website suxxxxx.

Would it really be a season of The Bachelor without getting the sappy story of some good-looking guy telling us that he’s lived the bachelor lifestyle and now is just looking for someone to love and settle down with. No, it would not. So we get Brad’s story. Don’t worry buddy, I’ll comfort you if you need.

Anyways, then starts the parade of this season’s floozies. I’m just kidding, not all of them are floozies. The dresses were either super fabulous, or super awful. There was no middle ground. My issues with the dresses include; No one looks good in crushed velvet because it is a sucky fabric, their tailors do not know how to properly fit a dress apparently, and at least half looked like really bad prom dresses. 

I’ll start on a positive note. I really liked Kara and Sophie. There are others, but I just can’t remember who they are right now. They were so cute, sweet, and seemed like really genuine girls. So, I’m #teamsophie and #teamkara this season.

On the negative; Whitney reminds me of Courtney from Ben’s season, but she’s a jackshow and could probably take Brad down easily so like, props to her. Gabrielle just sucks. I don’t see any redeeming qualities. She seems like she’s just there to be on television AND NOT FOR BRAD’S HEART. Oh, and Mindy’s hiking boots and badly placed anchor tattoo get a -10 from me.

Anyway, this season looks like it’s going to be a lot of fun. I really should have listened to my mother when she said to try out for this show. LOL JK

The Bachelor Comes North

TV producers finally decided that Canadians need love too. They also need to watch more hot messes on television. I’m totally okay with it. The inaugural Canadian Bachelor is Brad Smith a former CFLer and a certified hotty. The season starts with 25 women from all over Canada vying for Brad’s love in some lavish castle somewhere in Canada. I’m going to go ahead and assume somewhere near Toronto. I really should have done my research.

Each of the girls falls somewhere on the scale of ‘I can probably deal with out’ and ‘conductor of the hot mess express’. Here are some of the highlights:

- Amber is a server at a strip club. Which is easily the best reality show profession I’ve ever seen.

- Clarice is the Asian version of every famous Jennifer either

- Fawn has a dumb name. She has also rescued a couple squirrels and now cares for them, and if you've ever seen how terrifying Ontario squirrels are, you would understand what a feat this is.

- Gabrielle clearly has no comprehension skills because when asked what the farthest place she has ever been was, she lists of every country she’s ever been to. No bitch, this question requires a one country answer. Some of those countries listed are closer than others. That isn’t a difficult concept to understand.

- I think I like Jessica the best. I might eat my words

-Melissa Marie makes up her own languages

- Michelle V thinks women with tattoos are borderline hookers*

-Rebecca’s nickname is bubba. So, no.

- Sophie and Sandy are both so adorable!

-Stephanie is a model/neuroscientist. K cool.

There are other girls, but I just don’t care enough. You can check them out, and their blogs here: http://www.bachelorcanada.ca/bachelorettes/. 

The show starts tonight! Follow me @hstrong_ on twitter for some live tweeting action during/sometime when I eventually** watch the show!

*not her actual words

**It is the final Blue Jays game of the year, so like, priorities.